you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The power of my boobs compel you
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
