He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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