what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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