apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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