i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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