The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.