At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it