why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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