he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked