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• (818): View more from California

  he got wood on it!

  (408): View more from California

  i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.

  (818): View more from California

  ...i was talking about hockey

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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• (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.

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• (716): View more from New York

  please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex

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• (716): View more from New York

  This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked

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