So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you win again, gameday.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
