My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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