Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
