You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw a hot homeless man
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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