brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
4 words: hood of his car
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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