i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
