ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
