ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
