I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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