pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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