sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
