Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
