Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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