She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
