So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Success! We fucked roommates!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
