Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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