i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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