Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
