she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
