went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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