is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
