you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
