make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
