I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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