I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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