Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
