He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
