U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
