This girl is more easily done than said...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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