He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
