For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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