What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
