stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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