those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
