well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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