butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
