Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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