when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
