That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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