: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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