I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
