Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
