Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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