I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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