adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
