you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
