she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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