Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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