She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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