So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
