I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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