Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
