was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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