Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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